Breaking news: Craft beers for hipsters

Breaking news: Craft beers for hipstersMark Leonard, veteran Australian filmmaker and professional stool-warmer at Sydney’s Harold Park Hotel, has taken it upon himself to stay keen to the cutting-edge of craft beer marketing.

Scouring the globe for insights to the trend-setting elements of society, he has collated a list of 10 of the latest and hippest craft beer concepts destined to hit underground swills of swank soon.

  1. Toad Grobbler – Buffo Brewing Company, Moisty Lane, Staffordshire, UK
    A cloudy, unfiltered and somewhat yeasty Belgian-style beer ‘spawned’ rather than brewed, using imported sugar cane tailings from North Queensland. Best on an empty stomach – with a bucket handy. Keep your eye out for their Warty Newt Lager, coming soon
  2. Barbara Cartland Pink Lager – Olde Queene Brewery, Nether Wallop, Hertfordshire, UK
    An outwardly demure, somewhat coquettish, fizzy crowd-pleaser, harboring thrusting, turgid protuberances for those who can stick with it. Best taken with a Bex and a good lie down.
  3. Scrawny Cock IPA – No Fixed Address, Bellingen, NSW
    Last of the original Boutique Brews to holdout against the majors, its leathery texture, over-abundance of tannins and trademark “Reflux” render it virtually un-drinkable. Yet ‘The Cock’ stands as a sentinel for a tradition of brewers who try, fail and for reasons known only to themselves, persist.
  4. Sloppy Seconds – Fat Bitches Brewery, Bogan, Queensland
    What more can we say; Four Gold Medals at the Minto International ‘Beer Fest & Burn-Out Comp’. Not to everyoneʼs taste, but certainly popular within its demographic. Best with meat……any meat.
  5. Nuns Nasty Very Dark Ale – Sisters of Perpetual Incontinence, North Piddle Abbey, Worcestershire, UK
    A traditional Porter-style brew, known for its resonant bitter palate and smoked haddock after-tones. Residue can be a bit of a shock.

 

The second half of Mark’s list is still passing quarantine and will be released by authorities in time for next Friday’s PubTIC News.

For more information on this story, make it up yourself.

 

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